Spanking of the Month
by QuillVA
Summary: When Jim fails to handle an office riot, David Wallace is none too pleased. WARNING: Contains spanking. Don't like, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

"This is Jim"

"Jim, what the hell is happening there?", Jim hopped up to close his door as the angry CFO's voice came through his phone speakers. He'd heard that tone before.

"Here's what I understand. You start an employee of the month, you give it to yourself. Then when people complain, you give it to your wife? Am I missing something?"

"I really don't know how it happened, David"

"You don't know what happened?"

"No. I didn't even put my name in the running. And I picked completely randomly"

"Ok. What did you do to handle the situation?"

"I-uh- I tried talking to people, but they were- really mad"

"Of course they were mad. What the hell Jim. You should have nipped this in the bud. You should have picked a person, not you or your wife, and squashed this hours ago. I've gotten seven phone calls today. My time is of value, Jim"

"I understand that. It's just-"

"Shut your mouth"

"Yes sir"

"I thought that when I promoted you, we wouldn't have the need for our discussions anymore"

**_Jim:_**_ Discussion is a code word. It is code- for paddling your ass into a pulp. David and I had our first discussion my second week at work when I broke the copier making photos of my butt to impress Pam. And I thought the copier had been uncomfortable._

"David, please. I assure you there is no need for a discussion. I'll go handle this right now."

"Yes you will. You will handle this situation and then you will stay late at the office until I get there", Jim leaned back at his desk, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Jim? Jim, is that clear?"

"Yes sir"

"Ok. Ok. Jim, you know I think you're doing a great job down there, right?"

"Yeah"

"New positions come with new responsibilities. This is your new job. It's not to make people happy or talk things through. You're a reasonable guy, I get that. But reasonable doesn't get a job done. You need to be efficient. You cannot cave to people. Even if you had decided to give yourself the bonus"

"Which I didn't"

"I know. I'm not talking to Michael. I know you wouldn't put yourself in the running. You're smarter than that. But, even if you had. You should have been able to shut down any resistance. That's your job now Jim. That is what you have to do every day. Do you understand that?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Excuse me?"

"Yes sir. I understand"

"Alright. I will be in Scranton around seven and we'll discuss this further"

"Yes sir"

"Ok"

"David…. Is there _any_ way I can change your mind? Please", the dial tone sealed the discussion.

**_Pam:_**_ How do I feel about my husband getting paddled? I don't know. It's not like it's the first time. I've been paddled. Jim's had to paddle other people. Dunder-Mifflin has a strict corporal punishment policy until the age of 38. That means Jim, Ryan, and Kelly have their butts on the line. And me, once this thing comes out. (Gesturing to the baby). Maybe I should just keep having babies until I'm old. Can you do that?_


	2. Chapter 2

"Jim."

"David. Hey, how was your drive."

"It was good. Barely any traffic."

"Good. Good…. So uh- how's Rachel?"

"Go get the paddle, Jim"

"ALright. I will go get that now."

**_Jim (holding the paddle):_**_ Little known fact. This paddle was carved from the same wood they use to make Dunder Mifflin paper. Another fact. It is waaay heavier than paper._

…. Whap

"Agh. Twenty one sir"

…. Whap

"Ssss. Twenty two sir."

…. Whap

"God. Ssssss….. Twenty three sir"

…. Whap

"Mmmm.. Twenty Four sir."

….. Whap

"…. Twenty. Five. Sir"

….. Whap

"Ssss. God. Twenty six sir"

**_Jim (standing for the interview teary eyed with clips of his spanking playing in the background):_**_ So, I got my butt paddled, pretty good. I learned a lot from it. One, I learned that I need to be more assertive at work. I learned you can't make everybody happy. And I also learned that I should stop taking David to the batting cage every week. He's got the strongest arms in the- whole world. _

_Maybe we should get him into soccer._

"Halpert! Do I hear talking?"

_Shit. I'm supposed to be standing in the corner. Just… No sir. Just serving my corner time. Talking to myself._

"I don't want to hear another sound from that room. You understand me?"

"Yes sir"

Jim faced the corner quickly, looking back to make one quick Halpert face.


End file.
